Invisible
by Rose DiVerona
Summary: The only person who ever notices Kurt is the very one who makes his life a living hell. But Kurt doesn't want to be invisible. Will the rest of New Directions realize what they've done in time to change things? Or is it too late?


A/N: I'm not really sure how this came about, but it's angsty. Begins from NBK, but there is no Blaine or Dalton. First part is Kurt, second part is everyone else from New Directions.

Warning: The first part is pretty dark, includes sexual assault and attempted suicide.

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.

* * *

**Invisible**

He isn't expecting Karofsky to kiss him, and initially he is absolutely disgusted. He brushes his teeth extra that night, uses copious amounts of mouthwash, and wishes he could bleach the taste and memory away.

But then...then he realizes he doesn't feel so terrible after all.

Oh, the thought of the kiss is still enough to make him want to vomit. But at least someone _noticed_ him. Even if it was the last person he would want.

Everyone has been so distant lately, ever since his dad's heart attack and the duet competition. He never meant to push them away, but he has. If he can't be himself, if he can't be honest with _them,_ his supposed friends, then he doesn't know who to turn to.

Briefly, he thinks things are going to get better, when Sam, Mike, and Artie stand up for him. When his dad marries Finn's mom and Finn promises to have his back. When Puck suggests a constant perimeter.

But things go back to "normal" far too quickly, and isn't it bad that normal has become so unbearable?

He gets angrier, begins to shoot insults back at his tormentors, daring them to punch him because at least then he could feel _something_. Karofsky keeps pushing him into lockers and winking at him, and this time Kurt is disgusted with _himself, _that he savors the attention, that he doesn't go for help.

But no one has ever been able to stop it, anyway.

Then one day Karofsky pulls him into the locker room, shoves him up against a locker, and starts groping him.

Kurt is mortified. He fights back weakly, but the bully is much stronger.

"Leave me alone," he begs, but not fervently, because part of him is afraid Karofsky might do just that, and then he will be truly invisible.

He trembles and begins to cry, and Karofsky muffles his sobs with suffocating kisses.

**:**

These assaults continue, escalating in intensity. Karofsky begins to hit him, threaten him.

Kurt buys concealer and wears layers. He avoids his father, but he doesn't have to avoid his friends. They never ask, and he never tells.

Kurt is terrified this will keep going farther, that it might turn into..._rape._ And he's even more frightened that he won't stop it before it gets to that point.

He stays quiet and isolated in glee. He is no longer surprised when the others ignore him. He knows it must be easier to pretend he isn't there, to pretend there isn't a problem. He wishes he could do the same.

**:**

He can't take it anymore.

Today Karofsky's hand went down his pants and Kurt kicked out automatically, and now he has a giant handprint-shaped bruise on his face.

He drives home and breaks down. He never thought he would think about ending his own life, but now that is the only option he sees.

He stumbles inside and climbs upstairs to his parents' bathroom. His father's heart pills are sitting in the cabinet. Without hesitating, he fills a paper cup and tosses them all into his mouth, forcing them down.

Then he slides to the floor and begins to sob.

_I should at least tell someone, so my father won't be the one to find me..._

He pulls his phone out of his pockets and, fingers trembling, calls the first number that appears on the screen.

**

* * *

**

It's actually Mike who notices Kurt's missing from glee, which is strange because Kurt and Mike hardly ever speak. They don't have anything in common besides Tina and a shared dislike of Channing Tatum. Mike stood up for Kurt in the locker room that one time, but he went to Artie's defense instead of continuing with Karofsky because Mike knows Artie's in a wheelchair and could have been badly injured, and anyway, Kurt wasn't in any immediate danger. Mike's defiance was based more on loyalty to his girlfriend and glee club than any special friendship with Kurt. They are _friends, _in the same way Kurt and Puck are friends, except Mike never threw Kurt in the dumpster.

Nonetheless, it is Mike who misses the countertenor as the rest are preparing to begin.

"Wait, where's Kurt?" he asks, turning his head as if he will spot the slighter figure hidden in some corner.

The others copy his fruitless action, eyes roaming the faces of their fellow gleeks in search of the missing boy. It's like Where's Waldo, everyone searching for that gaudy outfit Kurt is sure to be wearing, only he isn't there. Nine, ten, eleven, but the twelfth member is absent from their midst.

No one is especially concerned; Kurt hasn't been himself lately and even though they're _fairly _certain this is his first absence, they can't be positive, because he's been so quiet lately that they might have overlooked him.

"He's probably just running fashionably late," Rachel says, rolling her eyes, but there is a hint of worry there.

Kurt is hardly ever late, and he's never late _alone._ But Mercedes is there, sitting next to Tina, and everyone else is accounted for, so Kurt most definitely is alone_, _unless he has a hidden posse they don't know about.

"You don't think…Karofsky?" Finn volunteers, frowning.

Heads shake; things have been getting better, haven't they? Kurt stopped complaining about Karofsky. Mr. Schue hasn't needed to give Kurt any pep talks lately, which means the problem is solved, right?

"Nah, he would have told me," Mercedes says confidently—but she doesn't sound all that sure, because the truth is that Kurt hasn't been telling her things lately.

She hasn't been asking.

Santana snorts suddenly. "Puh-lease."

Quinn has to refrain from slapping her fellow Cheerio, who seems far too smug about the whole thing, now when they are all on edge about competition and missing one of their best voices.

"Something you wanna say?" she asks coolly, and Santana sighs and stretches her long legs out in front of her.

"Those hockey players have been kicking Hummel around a lot more, lately. _Especially _Karofsky. You can turn a blind eye all you like, but Kurt's wearing more layers than usual and you'd have to be blind—or a _boy_—not to notice all the extra makeup."

Silence reigns for a few moments as everyone digests this. Disbelief is the first emotion many in the room face (they would have _seen_, Kurt would have _said _something…).

But then they remember how they all, in their own way, have been pushing Kurt away.

Mercedes has been so caught up in her diet and sort-of boyfriend, Anthony, that she has all but ignored the bully problems. They've gotten smarter, have stopped picking on Kurt so much when others are around, and Mercedes simply hasn't thought about it when it isn't in her face.

Tina and Mike, Artie and Brittany, Sam and Quinn, and Finn and Rachel, have been caught up in relationships, too busy dealing with each other to think about Kurt.

And Puck and Santana…

"Why didn't you say something? Or _stop _them?"

Tina is furious, on her feet, but she realizes even as she does so that her anger is too late. It isn't justified. She deserves to feel guilty.

Santana blinks at her. "Since when do I owe Hummel anything?" she asks. "And it's obvious he didn't want anyone to know, with all the measures he's been taking to hide it all. I don't interfere in other people's business…unless there's something in it for me," she amends, smirking.

And honestly, it kind of bothers all of them that even now, they aren't as concerned as they know they ought to be. Kurt is _fine, _he's strong and he doesn't want their protection. This whole thing has just been blown way out of proportion.

Mr. Schue steps forward, holding a stack of sheet music.

"Well, I'm sure Kurt will be here soon," he says, even though he isn't. He's a little annoyed that it looks like he and Kurt will be having yet another private talk, and maybe another trip to the principal's office.

As if on cue, Finn's phone rings.

**:**

It's difficult to make out the voice on the other end, at first, but the number is Kurt's and it doesn't take too long for Finn to put two and two together—it's Kurt, and he's crying, and _shit_, Finn isn't good with this kind of thing.

He passes the phone on to Mercedes, who has more experience with hysterical Kurt.

Artie can tell it isn't good by the way his friend's face twists as if she's trying to hold back tears, and by the way she keeps calling Kurt 'baby' over and over, and by the way she has begun to shake.

He jumps when Brittany speaks in his ear.

"Why is Mercedes crying?" she asks, her eyes wide.

Artie swallows. "Something's wrong with Kurt," he whispers back, reaching for her hand.

His girlfriend pulls away, horrified. "Did I do something? Oh, God. We haven't hugged in months. I hurt his feelings, didn't I?"

She bursts into tears, to Artie's alarm.

"Oh, no, Brit, you didn't do it…"

Mercedes waves to catch their attention.

'Call 911,' she mouths.

Sam's phone is out, and he punches in the numbers without hesitation.

"Where?" he asks.

Mercedes points at Finn, and Sam hurriedly gives instructions to the Hudson-Hummel residence, stammering that he doesn't know what exactly is wrong, but it has to do with his friend Kurt.

_His friend. _Not really, because he and Kurt haven't gotten to know each other. He didn't make the effort, not after the issue with duets, not after he and Quinn became the school's power couple. He got a black eye for the guy, but really, he was sort of just trying to impress Quinn.

Mercedes tears the phone out of his hand and jabbers down the line that Kurt has taken an overdose and that he just lost consciousness and needs help _now_.

And then they are all on their feet, tearing out of the school, piling into cars and pulling out of the parking lot.

They recognize the tragedy of the situation. They have not been there for Kurt. They have not seen his problems—not that they didn't _care_, but that they didn't care to _act. _

And now—now that Kurt is at the precipice of death, only now do they realize what they have done, and that they might never be able to apologize.

**:**

Puck flips through a magazine, not really seeing any of the pictures, not even the ones with the attractive moms.

He doesn't know why he is still here. In the initial panic, sure, he got caught up with the rest of the club, and anyway, his car was close and some of the others needed a ride. But he is still in the waiting room, hours later.

He hopes Hummel will be okay. Not because he likes the fairy, or anything like that, but because he _doesn't _like Karofsky, and he doesn't want to think of the guy winning.

Finally a nurse comes through the door and pulls Mr. and Mrs. Hummel aside and speaks to them. They both collapse into chairs, exhausted and tearful, but relieved.

Kurt is going to be all right.

The glee clubbers look around at each other, not a single smile present. Kurt will _live_, but will he be _okay_?

They can't celebrate until they make amends with their friend.

Things are going to change, from now on.

They _will._

Really.


End file.
